Wii

Thanks everyone for the Wii! Miriam and I are already getting loads of enjoyment out of it. My Wii number is 2458239712058953 (I think).

12/28/2007

And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then.

And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.

Just Kidding!

Or am I?

Job

I need a new job. I'd like something along the lines of what I do now. Which is mostly play with Linux and FreeBSD. I've updated my resume (said in my best homestar voice). I'm going to post it in the hopes that you guys can help me improve it or in the off chance that someone stumbles upon it and is like this guy is great I should hire him.

Joshua Doll

Objective:
To find a challenging position in Networking, Information Technology, Telecommunications, Computer Hardware application and maintenance, Computer Software application and maintenance.

Skills:

• Operating systems experience: GNU/Linux (Redhat, Ubuntu, Gentoo, Suse) Freebsd (4.X-6.X) Windows (3.1 – XP pro, including Server 2003, Apple Macintosh OS X 10.4.x)
• Experience in the administration of various routers: Cisco (75XX, 12XXX, 4xxx, 5xxx), Redback (SMS 1000), Riverstone (3200,3800)
• Experience in the installation, configuration, and administration of LANs both wired and wireless
• Experience with the following Network Protocols and Services: Samba, FTP, HTTP(S), TCP/IP, SSH, LDAP, Active Directory, IPP, Telnet, E-mail, DNS, IMAP, POP, NFS, SMTP, VPN, RDP
• Extensive knowledge of the following hardware platforms: Intel, AMD, VIA.

Experience:
Linkline Communications, Ontario Ca 2006-Present
Platform Engineer/Systems Administrator

• Worked on the development of custom a embedded fat client device, using Gentoo GNU/Linux
• Organized the development for a web based management suite for the fat client device
• Researched and deployed a Samba file server that integrated with Active Directory for local network
• Researched and deployed a enterprise level backup solution for local and wide area network using Bacula
• Worked on ISP class or core routers
• Handled provisioning of T1, DS3 for customers
• Did on site installation of customer T1 and DS3
  
• Maintained enterprise level e-mail for multiple domains
• Maintained DNS for multiple domains
• Maintained various servers used for, web hosting, e-mail, DNS, firewall, traffic shaping, VoIP, and Barracuda spam firewalls
• Maintained local network of about 25 workstations and printers
• Maintained local servers, file, printer, Active Directory

Linkline Communications, Ontario Ca 2005-2006
Technical Support/ Customer Support Representative

• Assisted customers with registration, email creation, DSL physical line signal testing, modem/filter set-up
• Assist customers with email, browser, and modem troubleshooting
• Provision customer DSL, e-mail, websties
• Handled customer billing, and sales inquiries
• Generated customer accounts in billing system and applied correct rates
• Placed orders with ILECs for customer DSL

A Better Way Real Estate and Property Management, Fontana Ca 2004-2005
Broker’s Assistant/ Information Technology Technician

• Setup wireless network.
• Setup new computers, and prepare for operations.
• Setup network for file and print sharing.
• Installed network printers.
• Optimized Operating Systems; Windows XP Pro, and Windows 98.
• Kept computers in operating status.
• Repaired computers as needed.
• Programmed Nortel Flash phone system, setup Automated Attendant, Mailboxes, Directory Trees.
• General Office, copying, faxing, letter writing, etc.
• Physical inspection of rental properties.
• Show rental properties.

Education:
Chaffey College, Rancho Cucamonga, Ca 2004 - Present
Pursuing a degree in Computer Science. Currently maintaining a 3.8 GPA, with 28 units complete.

Ethics

I have one question. It may not be a good question. There is problem zero value in it. And I'm probably a retard to asking it.

If there was only one conscious being, and nothing else existed. Would said being be able to determine what is ethical?

LoTR

I finally finished Lord of The Rings, minutes ago. After many side journeys, namely five Harry Potter books. I've finished. It's bitter sweet finishing books. You become very attached to the story and the characters, and when it's a very good story you don't want it to end. This was the case with LoTR, it's really a mixed bag of emotions at the end. You know the story is over, and there isn't anywhere left for it to go, but still you don't want it to end. You'd almost be happy reading the day-to-day adventures of Aragon, Sam, Pippin, Marry, Gandolf, Gimli, and Legolas. Like what time they woke up, what they ate for breakfast, etc, etc. Just to keep the memory of their adventure alive. It's that good.

Well I've got two more Harry Potter books to read and I'm done with that story. On deck is a Dostoevsky novel, The Idiot. I really like Dostoevsky, his writing is very Russian. In that how I would picture 19th century Russian to be. It's always full of passion and people acting passionately.

Then maybe I'll finish up my Camus collection or maybe I'll read some more Plato. Anyone care to vote?

Thinking

Descartes states, "I think there for I am." But I ask you, are you sure that what you are doing is thinking?

Swit

2007-08-04

The much anticipated live album "The Roundhouse Tapes" (Live at the Camden Roundhouse 2006) will be released through Peaceville records on October 22. The double disc venture will feature the following songs:

CD1: "When", "Ghost Of Perdition", "Under The Weeping Moon", "Bleak", "Face Of Melinda", "The Night And The silent waters"

CD2: "Windowpane", "Blackwater Park", "Demon of the Fall"

The (even more anticipated) HD filmed DVD will be released in early 2008. This will also feature (lots of) fan interviews, band interviews, soundcheck footage and live photos + exclusive menu music written by Åkerfeldt and Wiberg.

How did I miss this? It's been up for almost a month now. Go buy for me now!

Concerts

Man I need to goto a show. I've got Slayer coming up, thanks to Marcus. Am I as excited as I should be about seeing them? Not really. I'm not as into Slayer as I once was. Especially when I found out that Tom Araya is a hardcore Catholic. I really don't have anything against this, I understand that the Tom Araya the person is different from Tom Araya the performer. For me though Slayer stood as a force of opposition to institution ssuch as the Catholic Church and the members at least followed the deep down meaning of their songs. So, my question is how can you reconcile this force of opposition and individualism with a group that is about unquestioning and conformity?

Not only do I now have this new issue with Slayer, I'm also not as angry with the world as I once was. Slayer was one of the bands that helped me to get rid of this and express my angry is a healthy way. Maybe I've just out grown them?

I think what I need is for Opeth, Nevermore, InFlames, Tool, or Iron Maiden to go on tour. Hell maybe Iron Maiden is touring. I wouldn't know, life gets in the way of life and I no longer have the time to keep up with the bands I love. Being an adult sucks ass.

I'm such a thief

Have I ever had an original thought? Seriously, I think I steal everything I know off other people. Nothing on this page is my own. Well maybe these lame assed rants, but that doesn't amount to much more then me being no more mature or insightful than a Emo Teenager.

So, Camus said life is absurd get over it, maybe this is what I need to do. But, human drama is a drug, and I'm hooked. Fuck. This cycle will only end when I'm dead. YAY for self awareness! Look what good it does.

Famous last words, "Hey now watch this!"

A provoked shark attack may be defined as any physical contact with a human by a shark that was apparently precipitated by the former cornering, pursuing, striking, grabbing, spearing, hooking, shooting, or otherwise molesting the latter. Since any wild animal will defend itself if stricken, provoked shark attacks reflect poorly on the decision-making abilities of the human 'victim' and reveal little useful information about the motivation of an attacking shark. To deliberately provoke any shark – no matter how small or harmless it may seem – is at best unnecessary and at worst highly dangerous. To deliberately provoke a large, free-swimming White Shark can only be described as colossally stupid.

Totally

I'm such a thief. But I totally liked this picture. Credit goes to whoever made it.

This guy is my Hero

http://www.thelocal.se/7650/

A Great Idea, Anyone Want to Invest?

(9:51:46 AM) Nick: LET'S REBUILD THE COLOSEUM!
(9:51:50 AM) Brektyme: yes!
(9:51:54 AM) Nick: HEY! THERE'S ONE IN LA!
(9:52:40 AM) Brektyme: we can put all Organized Religions to death
(9:52:51 AM) Brektyme: or make them fight it out
(9:52:54 AM) Nick: even Jedi?
(9:53:01 AM) Brektyme: well maybe not the Jedi
(9:53:18 AM) Brektyme: cause it's obvious they'd win
(9:54:10 AM) Brektyme: but the religion that wins is the one true religion and no innocents will be harmed
(9:54:33 AM) Brektyme: then we can put them in a rocketship and send them to colonize Mars
(9:54:51 AM) Brektyme: or whatever other planet we choose
(9:55:18 AM) Nick: I know of an anime where mars was the last place humans had survived, but they couldn't have children so they had little android "dolls" that they treated like kids
(9:55:51 AM) Nick: and the leaders of the planet were hundreds of years old and were worshipped as gods and were from the original colonization expedition
(9:56:15 AM) Brektyme: weird
(9:56:25 AM) Brektyme: so it's like Catholics?
(9:56:34 AM) Brektyme: so the Catholics win eh?
(9:56:39 AM) Brektyme: I had a feeling
(9:56:56 AM) Nick: so you finally admit catholics are not christians?
(9:57:14 AM) Brektyme: all those Cursades and they've fought in the Colloseum
(9:57:17 AM) Brektyme: damnit
(9:57:48 AM) Brektyme: all those Crusades and they've fought in the Colosseum before
(9:58:00 AM) Brektyme: I don't admit anything
(9:59:10 AM) Brektyme: I think if we are going to have a battle royal we should divide them up all the same, All the different sects of every religion will be fighting, not just Christians, or Muslims, or Jews
(9:59:21 AM) Nick: royale
(9:59:38 AM) Brektyme: sorry you knew what I meant
(9:59:48 AM) Nick: I think we should do it Royal Rumble styleQ
(9:59:51 AM) Nick: style!
(9:59:58 AM) Nick: it'll be more fun!
(10:00:12 AM) Brektyme: but out side the ring is giant spikes?
(10:00:20 AM) Nick: sure!
(10:00:36 AM) Nick: except for the ramp the participants use to get to the ring
(10:00:57 AM) Brektyme: now will each religion be picking a champion to represent it?
(10:01:08 AM) Nick: 22
(10:01:14 AM) Brektyme: huh?
(10:01:19 AM) Nick: 22 champions each
(10:01:27 AM) Brektyme: I see
(10:01:46 AM) Nick: LIVE ON PPV!
(10:01:53 AM) Brektyme: can we have lions and stuff let into the ring?
(10:02:09 AM) Brektyme: like instead of a champion a lion comes to the ring?
(10:02:34 AM) Nick: I'll leave that up to you, cause that seems kinda difficult
(10:02:35 AM) Brektyme: but it's random to the fighters don't know if it's going to be a person or a bear
(10:02:56 AM) Nick: you must get a velociraptor though
(10:03:06 AM) Brektyme: totally agree
(10:03:35 AM) Brektyme: and weapons should pop out the ground to "aid" the champions
(10:03:51 AM) Nick: all right but no guns
(10:03:57 AM) Nick: guns make it too easy
(10:04:05 AM) Brektyme: cause the raptors would win hands down
(10:04:50 AM) Nick: we'll give them a couple of naginata
(10:04:54 AM) Brektyme: I'm thinking medieval weapons
(10:04:59 AM) Nick: that should allow them to take down a raptor or two
(10:05:56 AM) Brektyme: how much should we charge to watch this event?
(10:06:06 AM) Nick: 44.95
(10:06:19 AM) Brektyme: really cause it's going to be expensive to put on
(10:06:32 AM) Nick: not in borneo
(10:10:25 AM) Brektyme: I thought we were going to do it in Rome
(10:10:34 AM) Brektyme: cause of the history
(10:11:41 AM) Nick: I dunno if you realize this, but the Coloseum is called a "ruin" because it's in ruins
(10:11:55 AM) Brektyme: but we can fix it
(10:12:09 AM) Brektyme: it's mostly there
(10:12:12 AM) Nick: can we make it better stronger faster? do we have the technology
(10:12:17 AM) Brektyme: yes
(10:12:33 AM) Nick: the six billion dollar stadium!
(10:13:18 AM) Brektyme: yes
(10:13:55 AM) Brektyme: and since most the big three are so close it won't be that big of an issue getting them there

Truely a Sad Event Indeed.

"It is with sadness I announce that Opeth and I are going separate ways after almost 16 years. The decision has been the toughest I've ever made but it is the right one to make at this point in my life.

The reason behind this is that I feel that I simply have lost some of the enthusiasm and inspiration needed to participate in a band that has grown from a few guys playing the music we love to a world-wide industry. The love of music has always been, and still is, our motive, but I personally have lost something along the way. The massive amount of touring has taken its toll. Opeth has worked extremely hard to get where we are right now and in order to persist and maintain the quality of the music, it is necessary that we continue to work hard and always stay focused. But in doing so, it means that we nowadays spend 18 or 19 months on the road and I don't feel the same enthusiasm for the upcoming world tour that I have felt earlier. I have come to a point where I realize I won't be able to give the band 100%, and from both sides this will not be good enough for what Opeth stands for. I will always love playing, listening to, and living music, but I will do it differently from now on.

These years has easily been the best of my life and I will always cherish the memory of what we have experienced together. I would like to thank the band, our management, record label people, all the bands I've made friends with for everything. Most of all, I would like to thank the fans from the depth of my heart for the support throughout the years.

I wish Mikael, Martin, Per and Axe all the best and I am confident they will continue doing the greatest music in the world!! /Peter"

The new guy comes from a good pedigree so we'll see how he fits, but Peter and Mikael were pretty much the heart and soul to Opeth.

Blogging and than a whole mess of crap! (Please feel free to correct my grammar when I say "I really do suck," I mean it)

Well, what can I say? I'm a busy guy, and I find this whole rather pointless, then why do I do it? Honestly I think maybe I thought I'd have something important to say, or maybe it was just to get the picture of me online (I'M A MAGIC CARD). I'm not that neat, smart, witty, insightful, meaningful, or any other number of good qualities. I am on the other hand lazy very lazy, maybe not given the hours I work, but I like to think I am. I can't spell, my grammar is ass, and I have a limited vocabulary. Even with all the books I've read, I don't know if they have made me smarter, wiser, or just more confused. I'm betting on the last one. Well now this sounds like a whiny teenager myspace thing. So, what can I talk about? I'm looking for an idea.

I know Marcus is the only one that reads this which is kind of pathetic cause I'm one of maybe two, or three people that read his. So this is very incestuous, me feeding of him, him feeding off of me.

Maybe this is what we as a people have come to, or maybe we have always been? Feeding off of one another, quickly racing towards the bottom.

But hey as long as I've got a big TV, a nice house, a gas guzzling SUV, a raised truck, the latest cell phone, and can watch my NASCAR (Is that even an acronym?) I'll just turn a blind eye. What do I care? It'll all be better after I'm dead cause I've lead a good life, went to church even though I didn't mean it, supported the Republicans (Not that all Republicans are Christian Fundementalist), I should get into heaven right? It's okay that my clothes were made in Mexico or some other country that isn't America (By children probably), my house built by some illegal asshole Mexican (Totally think there needs to reform, but not by the raciest that run the country now), my house is powered by a coal burning power plant, and my cars only get 8 miles to the gallon, I like it warm outside. I can sit in my house watching my NASCAR (Seriously every race is just turning left, I like the Indy 500 (I know not NASCAR) but that's more because of the long history), in the cool of my air conditioning (Maybe I'm just jealous of this one since I can't run my air very often) , eating my pork rinds (Which I do like really), drinking my beer (I also like beer but only in moderation) getting fat (I've really put on some weight, but at least I'm not cool with it like the rest of the country seems to be). It's all cool that my kids can't read (Cause violence is more important than spending money on schools), hell even I can barely read, I played football (Does it really need repeating?). We have Playstation, and the History Channel to educate us (I also like the History Channel, but I don't learn everything I know from there (If I've learned anything at all)). I'm just a big dumb happy, but not too happy cause those damn Mexicans are stealing my job, middle class (But getting poorer, cause I'm a consumer damn it!), American. And if you don't like it you can just get outta here. Cause I'm about to Gett'r Done.

LoTR == crack

I picked up Lord of the rings last weekend, it's been a long time goal of mine to read this book. I have not been able to put it down. The only time I am not reading are when I'm; sleeping, eating, working, or bathing. In fact I am reading it right now. This book is crack cocaine, it is so fucking good. I've only had the book six days and I've already finished The Fellowship of the Ring. I am reading about 100 pages a day, which if you know me is quick. I guess that's what happens when most of what you read is Russian Philosophy Novels, Dostoevsky is my favorite, or Ancient Greek. I haven't read a book just for fun in ages, not saying that the books I do normally read aren't for fun. Hopefully I finish this soon cause I don't know how much more I can take.

E-mail Freebsd and all the Fun that Comes With it

So I'm a systems administrator right? What does that mean? Well it means I get to goof off working on computers all day. I personally don't have very much experience working with BSD and administering e-mail, and other fun services. So, I decided I was going to learn something about it.

I was given a really old AMD Athlon MP 1800+ based server, thanks Doug. I was going to buy a via embedded board with dual NICs but couldn't afford to get one. Maybe someday I will. So the first thing to do was to take the damn thing apart, I really wish I had a digital camera, so that I could clean it and maybe do a better job with the wires.

Once the cleaning was done I had to install freebsd, this is probably the easiest OS in the world to install. It installs in about twenty minutes from the time you turn the computer on to reboot into the new OS. Blows the install times on windows and most linuxes out of the water. What you get though is just the base system which is fine, cause it's BSD I can very easily change the rules of the os to make it into any kind of server that I choose, unlike windows and some linuxes.

Well the first thing I need to get working was firewall/routing. PF is fanfuckingtastic for this. I was able to setup dhcpd by myself but could not for the life of me figure out the pf.conf, what a n00b, well thanks to Doug and his awesomeness he hooked me up with rules that work for what I need and will allow me to expand in the future, plus he commented the pf.conf for me so that it's awesome.

# $FreeBSD: src/share/examples/pf/faq-example1,v 1.1 2004/09/14 01:07:18 mlaier Exp $
# $OpenBSD: faq-example1,v 1.2 2003/08/06 16:04:45 henning Exp $

#
# Firewall for Home or Small Office
# http://www.openbsd.org/faq/pf/example1.html

int_if = "fxp1"
ext_if = "fxp0"

router_ext_ip = "X.X.X.X"
router_int_ip = "192.168.2.1"
router_ext_services = "{ 22, 888, 21, 3306, 80, 25, 143 }"
router_int_services = "{ 22, 888, 21, 137, 139, 901, 3306, 25, 631 }"

nietzsche_ext_ip = "X.X.X.X"
nietzsche_int_ip = "192.168.2.254"
nietzsche_services ="{ 22, 5900 }"

#-----------------------------------------------
# options
set block-policy return
set loginterface $ext_if
# scrub
scrub in all

#-----------------------------------------------
# LAN Nat
nat on $ext_if from $int_if:network to any -> $router_ext_ip

# Redirects for nietzsche access from the outside using public IP
binat on $ext_if from $nietzsche_int_ip to any -> $nietzsche_ext_ip
#-----------------------------------------------

# Allow all local traffic on the router
pass quick on lo0 all

# Default block for evertything else
block log all

# Pass everything outbound from the firewall, so we only have to filter inbound on interfaces
pass out quick all keep state

# Allow icmp everywhere to aid troubleshooting
pass in quick proto icmp keep state

# Testing
#pass in quick all keep state

# Services accessable on the router
pass in log on $ext_if inet proto tcp from any to $router_ext_ip port $router_ext_services flags S/SA keep state
pass in log on $int_if inet proto tcp from $int_if:network to $router_int_ip port $router_int_services flags S/SA keep state

# Services accessable on nietzsche
pass in log on $ext_if inet proto tcp from any to $nietzsche_int_ip port $nietzsche_services flags S/SA keep state

# Allow LAN machines to get out on any port
pass in on $int_if from $int_if:network to any keep state

Next thing to get working was my ftp for my massive collection of music. I really like pure-ftp for this. I found a great how-to online detailing a pure-ftp setup that uses virtual users, very important for security, and MySQL to store the user information. The how-to is here http://machiel.generaal.net/index.php?subject=pureftpd&language=eng. This got me going with out much hassle, I did have to figure out some php stuff on my own. This setup works great, although I still need to get the ftp working in passive mode.

So my latest endeavor has been e-mail. I've owned brektyme.com for a little while now, mostly so I don't have to keep track of all my ip addresses. I decided though that I would like to stop having all my computers send their logs to my gmail account. So, I wanted a better solution, and Postfix was the answer. Postfix is great, it's easy to customize, easy to setup, and easy to maintain. So, I didn't want to just get postfix working that wouldn't get me much. No, I wanted an ISP class e-mail service, one where I could check with webmail anywhere, host multiple domains, setup aliases, and give my friends virtual accounts. Well again I was lucky in that I found a great how-to, only it was for openBSD, but no problem I was feeling comfortable enough with freeBSD by now that I should be able to get this going. Well I followed the how-to, but no luck. Luckily for my I have Doug, he was able to help me troubleshoot my SQL, and Postfix issues without telling me exactly what the issue was. I was able to figure it out and got postfix working in no time with his help. Then came IMAP, this too proved not that difficult. To tell the truth after fixing postfix and the SQL DB entries I was able to get everything working quick. Crap firefox crashed just now and I lost like another five or six lines from here. Damnit! I'm just going to publish this crap now and add to it later.

6/2/07 I still don't feel like updating so suck it!

Tool, Scenesters, and Aching Necks

The other night was Tool, actually the day before I started this stupid blag. Marcus and I went, we'd had tickets since February, but the show was at first canceled and then postponed due to Danny Carey injuring his right Bicep, don't know why I had it in my head that it was his rotor cup. I mean I even sent an e-mail to Blair saying that I was glad to see his rotor cup was better, damn I must look like a dip-shit.

Well anyways the show was at SDSU in the COX Arena, those jokes never get old. We got there late because of Marcus's, or is it Marcus', asshole math teacher. Seriously it's not like Marcus was asking the guy much if he could take it early. Teachers like that should be teaching in high school not in college. So we missed the first band but from what I heard on the toolshed.down.net forums they sucked ass. After some debacle of getting lost on the way to the COX Arena, hehe, we finally find the walk way that was at the top of the stairs in the COX Arena, hehe, parking structure. So you can image my fat ass running up like 5 or 6 flights of stairs. So, we get to the security check point, I fucking hate security check points six years of working at fucking UPS has given me a great disdain for them. The first attempt through and the security fuck-face is like no flashlights. Marcus tried to convince him that he could just take the batteries out and toss them, trying to avoid having to go back to the car, but the fudge packer wouldn't budge. He finally informed us that Marcus could check the flashlight, thanks anal-reamer! So we checked the flashlight, mind you a three watt flashlight no idea what damage that would have done. By the time we make it back to the hated check point there was a line. Luckily we have half our wits about us Marcus and I, not sure on the grammar for that one, and we see that there are two fucking security assholes just standing there licking the cat's ass. So, Marcus asks if we can in fact go through their check point because unlike the rest of the masses we do not enjoy being treated like lambs being lead to the slaughter. We the chick security says yeah sure.

We hop on over. Marcus makes it through first. I walk up take my keys out stick my arms out in my best Jesus pose, and the fucktard for a security has the nerve to fucking ask me how much I've had to fucking drink. I'm like what the fuck? I've had nothing. Less than zero even. I just ran across campus here asshole. I guess you know the fact that I was a bit sweat is dead give away, although you'd think that someone who would be all sweaty from drinking would have a hard time standing, and would probably reek of alcohol. Once through Marcus asks what the hold up was. I explain that the genius working the gate thought I was drunk. Marcus gives a WTF? and we make our way over to the t-shirt stand, Marcus has a fetish for tour t-shirts. I have no idea what he does with them, because I never see him wearing them....

Well we both had to piss real bad, so we start the hunt for a bathroom. I swear there was like twenty women's bathrooms to one men's. We finally find the only men's bathroom and there's a fucking line, yes that's right a fucking line to the goddamn men's bathroom. Luckily men don't have to go through some elaborate ritual just to take a fucking piss, so the line was moving quickly. Once inside there was some random dude directing traffic towards the pissers. At first I thought hey just like the last Tool show in LA, but alas he was just waiting for a shitter. Well the urinals were the kind with no fucking dividers between them, the COX Arena is a real high class joint. So my bladder went it fuck we don't one some dude looking at our junk mode and I had a real hard time getting it started.

This is where I encounter the first fucking scenester Bro Asshole. This guy walks up next to the urinal next to me. This guy has a mohawk, and piercings every where. He's also talking on the phone, can you believe that shit? He's taking a piss and doesn't even have the courtesy or is so oblivious to the rest of the fucking world that he can't hang up the phone to take a piss. This reminds me of that commercial where that fat black lady can't get off the fucking phone. The one where she's wearing the obnoxious red sweater. I'd include a link to youtube but I'm fucking lazy. Anyways after nearly fucking the urinal so that I could take a piss, I go to wash my hands, and theres no fucking soap. I'm telling you a real high class joint the COX Arena is. So I do the best I can and go to dry my hands, at least they have paper towels and not those fucking useless air dyers that make you feel like a complete asshole when you use them.

On the back out of the bathroom we encounter Scenester number two, well actually they were all over the place. But this guy was a real douche, the kind that thinks his shit don't stink. So we're trying to make our out and we're forced to cut back through the line and this douche acts like we almost pushed him over cause we asked him to step back a little. I even said excuse me, dirt bag. Well get some doughnuts which were fucking great.

Finally we make our way to our "seats". The COX arena is where I guess the local shitty SDUS baseketball team plays or some shit. We find our "seats" which were in the very back row on the right hand side facing the stage. Well our "seats" were in the middle of the row and some assholes where sitting there. We said excuse us but you're in out "seats" and this guy is like "oh am I?", fucking asshole. So, this so called seats, think of your high school gym seating, not much better than that. We're chowing down on the doughnuts, and Marcus cracks a joke about my fat ass taking up half his seat. Well the dipshit next to us is like maybe you shouldn't be giving him doughnuts. Marcus quips back you can see he's just taking them, I'm not giving them to him, thanks Marcus you're such a friend.


At this point we weren't sure if we'd missed the opening act. Just as we were getting comfortable some assholes on the other side decide to start the fucking wave. Honestly the wave? It was at this moment I realized the whole fucking arena was full of fucking Scenester Bro Mother Fuckers. This is where my rant starts.

What's the deal with this people, honestly? You can't listen to both tool and linkin park, they aren't even close to being the same kind of music. I think it goes back the early days of tool when they'd play Lollapalooza and these fucktards are some how enamored with the idea of that was a hip happening time so they have to attach them self to that somehow. Well I guess you can also blame Tool for still playing crappy trendy festivals like that today last years Coachella comes to mind. The thing I hate most about these Bros is they don't even understand what the music is about. Granted I'm not 100% on all the songs, but I at least understand that Prison Sex is not about being anally raped in Prison. These Scenester Bro Assholes, actually almost booed when they started playing Wings and 10k Days, this is a very personal song for Jimmy (MJK), and it takes a lot of guts on his part to lay it out there like that. I should also note that it is a fanfuckingtastic song in tribute to his dead mother, which always makes me think of my father. Anyways, these assholes gave out a big old "AHHHH" like it was a let down. See the band had taken a break on stage, which this brings me to another incident. One these Scencester Bro Assholes, thought it would be the coolest thing ever to break out his laser pointer and start hitting the band with it. You fucking asshole, and the friends that encouraged it deserve the lack of mental capacity you have. I will have no issues making you part of the proletariat when my kind comes to power. I also notice that these SBAs don't know the fucking lyrics to any of the fucking songs. I've come to the conclusion that the only exposure they have with Tool is via the radio. Seriously you don't go see a band that you've only heard on the radio, you're not going to like the experience, shitface. Another problem I have can demonstrated by the couple sitting next to me, and they were sitting. This is a two parter, first you don't fucking sit when the band you paid 60+ dollars to see is on stage. Sitting when a band is preforming is like saying this is so fucking boring I need to sit. Seriously if you aren't into the band that much don't fucking go! Second you do not under any circumstances leave to go; to the bathroom, get a drink, other useless activity. For the next 70-90 minutes your ass belongs to the band you paid to see. Shit even if someone released anthrax in the crowd I wouldn't leave a show. Which reminds of when Marcus farted right in the SBA sitting next to him face. I never go to show of a band I'm marginal about, never! So fuck all you hookers with a penis.



Anyways concerts for me a release of all the pent up frustration and anger. I let it all out at the show so I don't let it out in the real world cause some people might end up dead. I pour everything I've got into cutting lose and letting the music take hold, as it should be, so much so that by the end I feel like I just had sex. You know it's been a good show when you can't talk, hold you head up, can't hear, smell like a mens locker room, and you can't stop smiling. That was us after the show. Two happy and spent motherfuckers.


And two those two scenester bitches at denny's wearing tool shirts and looking like fucking twins FUCK YOU! This is my ritual not yours!

--Brektyme

Where to begin? (thanks Marcus)

Well I've always hated the idea of having a blag. But secretly I've also always been very fond of it. I generally don't have anything super intelligent, witty, funny, or insightful to say, even though in my head I like to think I do. I'm super fucking boring, my life consists mostly of work, TV, computer, food, and sleeping. Sometimes I like to read, generally I'm to lazy for that, they don't call me Brektyme for nothing. Maybe I should give the background on where I got that nickname, not that you were wondering or for that matter even care. I generally force this story on everyone, and also am for the large part really the only to call myself Brektyme.


So, anyways on with the stupid lame story. I worked for a shitty furniture story out of Ontario, which shall remain nameless. I worked there with one of my good friends Joey Thomas (Ez Munny), he actually helped get me the job. Well we were lazy, well not exactly lazy but more like we only did what was needed to get the job done nothing more. You see we both worked shitty hours at UPS too, so we were always dead on our feet. At this furniture store there was this sales guy Jay, funny fucking dude. Joey would get high with, that wasn't my thing. Anyways he was sometimes a hard read, like you could never really tell if you could trust the dude. We didn't give a fuck though. So, one day he insults us by saying we are the laziest guys he's ever seen, which was bull shit cause we both put in at least 12 hours a day with both jobs. He says that he's going to start calling me Break-time and Joey Easy Money (see I can spell sometimes) cause I'm always on break and Joey is all about making the easy money. Well we being the kind of guys that we are run with it. So I'm Brektyme and Joey's Ez-Munny, I like to call them our teamster names. I'll never forget the time we jumped the delivery truck in Rancho on Romona AVE. Eventually Joey quit and I got fired. He lives in Texas now with his wife. I'm still in Cali. The furniture store went "out of business" (actually just changed to a office store). Those were good times.